A lot of people have asked if I want a boy or girl. Well, I want one of each eventually, so I really have no preference which comes first. There are lots of reasons to be excited about either, but I was reading a scrapbooking blog yesterday and they had a segment that I thought was pretty entertaining (and scary). It sounds like a little boy would be a lot of work...
So here it is: "Why boys need parents"
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old man says he can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,
with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox
and brake fluid.
Hahaha!!!I can totally see Brandon trying to mix brake fluid and Clorox! Note to self, do not show Brandon this list! Someone needs to make one for girls too, they get into just as much trouble as boys do...
ReplyDeleteAfter a bunch of people kept asking me, I would respond "a healthy baby! I would be worried if it was puppies!" Course the question was always "what do you want it to be?" At least it got a good laugh!
That's hilarious! While reading I thought, "gee, wonder if Nick tried the clorox mixture when he read this?"
ReplyDeleteTo go along with #'s 7 & 19, I learned to always check the toilet before using/flushing & to check certain trash cans before emptying.
Bahahahahahah!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteGirls can be just as much trouble. Here's some advice from my friend with one year old girl:
ReplyDeleteIf your child is taking a longer than normal nap, CHECK because they have probably taken off their diaper and smeared poop all over themselves, crib, stuffed animals, blankets and toys. And thrown chunks of it out of the crib. And then to top it off, peed all over the whole mess.
Welcome to motherhood! haha